Monday, March 30, 2009

Beginning


Rustom was an obligation. Living as a man, whether as a straight or as a gay man, was suffocating for it is not an expression of what’s inside of me; it was an obligation required of me. Rustom is the Emperor’s New Clothes tailored using the finest threads.

Then the child inside of me began to point out: You have nothing on. Now, nothing’s left but my nakedness. It’s what God sees when he looks at me. It’s the little bird coming out of a freshly hatched egg, the integration of my inner and outer world, the expression of the music God whispers to my soul. I am BB Gandanghari.

I’m an artist who uses film as the vessel of her creativity; and if I have a message to tell, it is through films that I can best impart them. I’m a woman expressed – not trapped – in a body called male. I’m a newly-born child; I’m still learning how to walk, finding my voice, exploring the world as a tenderfoot.

Artist, woman, child, and whatever label you and I use to articulate my experience - let’s not get lost in words. What I am now is not a product of finding the right word to describe my experience nor it’s about finding the most appropriate label to frame my existence. What I am now is a product of self-discovery and recovery, of reuniting with the unlabelled expression of my being: it is the uniqueness every child brings to this world.

And reuniting with this uniqueness gives me a renewed strength, a tenacious courage made possible by the grace of God. Yes, I’ve walked through the streets of confusion. I’ve faltered every now and then. But the power of prayer transformed every of my fall into opportunities to begin anew. Rascall Flatts puts this so beautifully in his song I’m Moving On: “I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness. For once I'm at peace with myself. I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long. I'm movin' on...” And yes, I’m moving on.

Welcome to my blog!

Love & Peace,
BB Gandanghari

(11:40 A.M | 30 March 2009)

58 comments:

  1. go girl!
    you have the world beside you..
    keep it up!
    =)

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  2. wow naman. God Bless. Keep postin. I'll follow this. Be an inspiration to us and to th world. aww! -ghandialee from facebook

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  3. My dearest BB,

    You have no one to answer to but yourself. I am just happy that you have chosen to share your journey with us, with the world. I am sure that the journey can be both a gift and a curse. Hopefully, later on it will prove to be more the former than the latter. :)

    Stay brave then and may you never lose sight of who you are. I wish you all the best in life and all the happiness in the world. *HUGS*

    :)
    PinayTG

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  4. I love how courageous you are.
    Right on, girl.

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  5. This is nice. Blogging has always been good catharsis for me. Maybe for you it will also be a good release. Welcome to the blogging world!

    Visit my blogs:
    http://prudenceandmadness.com
    http://foodtriptayo.com
    http://steth.blogspot.com

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  6. hello BB! so nice that you finally have a blog. This post is great! 'Keep writing beautifully and may you draw a lot more inspiration in life!

    xoxo mj zamora, facebook

    P.S. 'Love the Rascal Flatts too!!! aren't they great?!

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  7. I love how you express your inner soul... the depth of each words uttered brings out the true meaning of who you really are ... let me welcome the new you...the real you... Hope to see u soon ;)

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  8. I LOVE WHAT YOU DID. IT WAS SO BRAVE AND SO BOLD... I APPLAUD YOU FOR DOING THAT.. ESPECIALLY IN THIS COUNTRY WHERE PEOPLE ARE STILL, AND SOMEHOW "CLOSE MINDED" YOU;VE SHOWN BRAVERY AND SHOWED THAT YOUR HUMAN, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE! AND I THINK YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY! :)

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  9. Thanks for Inspiring everyone.
    You are Woman.
    No Questions Asked.

    We love You and God Bless.

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  10. Congrats! You are the third celeb I know that blogs publicly! Aside from Bianca and Mikee. :)

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  11. very well said, bb!! i am still in awe of your bravura and strength. more power to you :)

    btw, maybe you'd like to check out the post i did on the POC meet and greet event here

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  12. BB Gandanghari...
    Kung ano ang nasa puso mo, sundin mo..Nasa sa iyo ang lahat ng karapatan upang maging maligaya..Do whatever you please...Hari tayo ng ating buhay.. God bless you...

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  13. You're an inspiration.

    Plus, you are as fierce as hell.
    We love you BB!

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  14. hi ms.bbgandanghari!
    ur so beautifull!
    ure so brave to face the world!
    walang katulad..
    u shocked us..but inspite of what other seem to think about you..iloveu and maybe someday they will realize that ure only a person that stands only for urself!
    thanks for sharing and ignore all the hassel in ur way!go towards..god will guide u!

    be beautifull always!mhhuaa

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  15. The world is your playground and I'm happy that you're out to play and enjoy, to live and to love. Looking forward to reading you life's musings! :)

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  16. Congratulations on your new blog.... keep on posting!

    God Bless BB!

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  17. Hi BB,

    I hope and pray your confusion will soon end.
    God Bless you.

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  18. Good luck to you BB. You amaze me by your courage :)

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  19. dittz centeno-de jesusApril 2, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    hi BB. here's an excerpt from the book THE SECRET..."You are a spiritual being. You are energy, and energy cannot be created or destroyed - it just changes form. therefore, the pure essence of you has always been and always will be."
    stay happy...

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  20. you are awesome BB! a beautiful human being, indeed =)

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  21. Maging sino ka man ang importante ay ang iyong pagkatao at magandang ugali inside & out. Lahat tayo pantay pantay sa mata ng diyos! God bless & best of luck!

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  22. what you did was so brave and bold,i salute you for that. but it is not really nice when you act so "womanly' especially on cam. Please just act normal..like a normal woman does. Minsan kasi nagiging over na,and it doesnt look good

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  23. >great! godbless.. I am so proud of you!=)

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  24. I love your photos. Ru Paul ain't got nothing on you ♥

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  25. mapalalake ka man o babae, taglay mo talaga ang mukha ng isang anghel. from kharmela baldemor of paete,laguna.

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  26. i hope you won't mind if i link your page to mine.. i find your story really inspiring and i want to learn a lot from you.. God bless you! you're a nice and pretty person.. inside and out.. :)

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  27. a great person and that is you. I was so impressed and inspired with your story. How I wish I can meet you.You're a good person.

    god bless you=)

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  28. I actually never knew about all this out of my lack on watching tv. I saw you this morning at Kris Aquino's show. I was with a friend and I told her how beautiful you looked. She then told me who you were, I was in awe of how well you're doing. People will always support you. It's not really a matter of whatever people seem as physical, but a matter of who you are. God bless BB!;)

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  29. You are so fabulous inside out!!!Just keep in mind that Gods ultimate request is to love Him and others.I am sure that u have that in you...that's all that matters right?!God bless u always gorgeous!

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  30. as long as you believe in God and you don't hurt anyone..... go and be gay!

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  31. bb your great!!!!now you find your real self..your genuine existence..who really you are in this world!!!i salute you,,a banner for BB!!!!

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  32. i am happy for you that you're able to express yourself more and be who you wan't to be...but am not happy that you keep saying that you are God fearing...I may not know whether God approves/disapproves of what you are doing to the body He has gifted you, please stop mentioning Him in all your statements... even I will find myself a hypocrite if I say that I am God fearing and yet I commit sins that may not be big deals to others... nonetheless, I wish you God Bless!
    - Ana -

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  33. Hi, I salute your courage to be what you are now. Keep moving on!

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  34. Hi, I salute your courage of coming out. Keep moving on! Be happy and stay happy!

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  35. is it BB or Bebe??? cos mali yata yung nasa wikipedia entry mo....
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rustom_Padilla

    always stay humble and be smart. many gays and non gays look up to you now

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  36. bb your such a wonderful girl turn into a woman... go go go.....

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  37. go bb! :]
    be an inspiration.

    -ehmkei

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  38. I've always been waiting for you to blog. Now I found it. Yey! :3

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  39. "I’m a woman expressed – not trapped – in a body called male. I’m a newly-born child; I’m still learning how to walk, finding my voice, exploring the world as a tenderfoot."

    very beautifully said. i am a gay man and you are transgender - similar and yet very different. salamat sa tapang na ipinapakita mo. you inspire me, the LGBTQ community, and all people who believe in being equal. let's celebrate diversity!

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  40. ...not really sure if you're a well respected "Performance Artists" in drag (gay men dressed in drag and performs in art medium like gay clubs, theater, videos or movies! like say "RuPaul") or if you're just a confused individual suffering from "Gender Disphoria" like in the movie "Transamerica" ...I think the latter! :(

    ...most transgendered individuals brain don't fit their body, that's why majority of them go through the "sexual reassignment procedure" or "sex change" to live normal lives! ...You should too if you consider yourself "transgender"!

    ...if you're not "transgender" and just an actor, then puh-leeese STOP labeling yourself so coz you're just stigmatizing the "Transgender Community" whose million members have fought since the "Stonewall Days" to have this right (the word transgender) legitemized! Okay!

    yours truly
    BSB (tm)

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  41. Hi BB,

    You have inspired at lot of people.
    You are true to the word... "Magpakatotoo ka sister!"

    God Bless

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  42. i am very impressed with your revelations on your blog. you were very open with your feelings. that's confidence...which means you are now very much comfortable in your skin...more power to you. you're such an inspiration....

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  43. Sana nagpakabisexual or discreet ka na lang. Being gay doesn't need that you have to cross dress

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  44. you're not a girl... a woman.. or what so ever.. wag po natin lokohin ang mga sarili natin.. dont live in halucinations.. just accept what you really are and be happy.

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  45. you inspired me in so many ways...

    ...and I thank you for that!

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  46. I very sure of myself that I'm a straight guy. But I think you inspire everyone with your truthfulness and humility. I can't imagine the courage you must have gotten to come out into the open. I hope you'll find the true meaning of your existence in the person of BB Gandanghari. God bless you, your family, and your fans.

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  47. BB,

    You are one of those who have the guts to express their real selves and proud of it and your fight for acceptance will be really challenging, but no guts, no glory...

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  48. idol kita BB......mwahhhhh

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  49. Hello, Miss BB Gandanghari. :)

    Thank you for showing me a brighter side of life. You've inspired me to express my feelings, and to show my true face to the world. I used to be a coward, hiding everything inside me... But you've showed me how important it was to express my true my feelings, and to not be afraid to show myself to everyone.

    Thank you for being a wonderful inspiration, Miss BB.

    Take care and God bless. :)

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  50. Hi! BB,

    I just dropped by to say hi! You really have a wonderful online page. I just added you in my blogmates.

    Good luck and stay beautiful... =)

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  51. i wouldn't judge anyone at this point para sana parehas lang tayong lahat.
    but of course some people are threatened by things and people that different from them... akala ko nung naovercome ang race and color by Obama's victory ay things of the past ang gender issue lalo na sa panahon ngayon...tutal wala ka namang ginagawang masama then just be yourself.
    Sayang at you had to mention the Club's name, sumikat pa tuloy sila dahil sa iyo.

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  52. P.S.

    I hope you finally take the final step and have the gender reassignment operation para makumpleto ka na.

    Goodluck

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  53. Dear BB,
    Greetings to you my idol!
    What I like about you is your frankness, humbleness and determination. Being a person like you are, you fight for your freedom and dignity to be respected in the world you live in...you go girl..your such an inspiration to those people who are hiding on their closet and couldn't get out from it. You have a very positive outlook for life...and all I can say is your a woman of valor and wisdom..Amen.

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